[OUCH] 10 Ways to Destroy Your Phone
All but the most imperturbable Zen Masters among us have felt the perfectly understandable urge to wreak utter destruction upon that pocket-sized device that makes us feel so clumsy and stupid. But in most cases, a phone’s demise is deemed “accidental.” Here are ten easy ways to destroy a smartphone, and how to avoid those inconvenient mishaps…
Don't Try This at Home
Breaking smartphones seems to be a popular American pastime, even if it is accidental in most cases. As of late 2014, Americans had spent $23.5 billion on repair and replacement of broken phones. Popular YouTube celebrities draw millions of viewers by creatively destroying brand-new phones - usually iPhones, for some reason. If you've ever wondered what happens when you drop a $649 iPhone 6S into a river of red-hot lava, watch this video.
No volcanos handy? You could hop a plane to Hawaii, but there are easier ways to fold, spindle or mutilate your expensive smartphone. Here are ten tongue-in-cheek suggestions for breaking your phone, all of which you'll want to avoid.
#1 - Drop your phone on a hard surface. Manufacturers love to brag that phones can survive falls of up to six feet onto a concrete floor. What they don’t mention is how precisely those phones are oriented before they’re dropped, to avoid landing on their most vulnerable points. In real life, a phone that lands on its glass face is very likely to shatter its display, a $100 or more repair. Soft silicone cases not only cushion falls, they provide a non-slip grip that makes dropping a phone less likely.
#2 - Get your phone wet. You don’t need a large body of liquid to short-circuit the electronics in your phone. Just leave it on a countertop at a bar, cafe, or restaurant and eventually something will spill and seep into the phone. At the beach or swimming pool, set the phone down close to the water so you can hear your favorite tunes clearly. Or buy some water-resistant Bluetooth speakers and keep the phone a safe, dry distance away. Another favorite way to drown a phone is to let it slip out of your back pocket into a toilet. (If your phone does get dunked, see my article How to Rescue a Wet Phone.) Speaking of the back pocket, that leads us to our third most popular way to break a phone.
#3 - Sit on it. Bending iPhones or Android phones causes them to cease functioning and even shatter. This astounding discovery took the tech world by surprise in the third quarter of 2014, generating dozens of test videos and heated debates about whether or not a phone should break when a 200-pound-plus person sits on it. Well yes, it should, because it isn’t a paperback book, wallet, or 2x4 board. The laws of physics are very clear on this subject.
#4 - Cook it. Phones and other electronic devices don’t like excessive heat; see my article, Your Computer’s Enemy Number One. When overheated for prolonged periods, RAM will start dropping bits, disk drives will develop bad sectors, transistors and resistors will burn out, and the phone will “just stop working.” Most phones are rated to stand up to 113 degrees Fahrenheit, a temperature easily exceeded on a car’s dashboard on a sunny day. Even leaving a phone on a window sill in an air-conditioned room can lead to overheating due to the phone’s absorption of radiant energy. Freezing a phone to death is a bit harder; most are rated down to -40 F.
#5 - Leave it on always. If you don’t sleep, you get confused, slow down, and eventually stop working; the same goes for your phone. Constant background operations muddy memory, wear out hardware, and lead to early failure. Turn the phone off at night, or at least reboot it once a week.
#6 - Cram it full of stuff. Photos, videos, messages, contacts, and apps take up storage space. The more crowded storage becomes, the harder the phone has to work to keep things organized and retrieve what’s needed at a given moment. I've also found that having a boatload of saved text messages can really slow or even freeze my phone. If 90% or more of your storage is full, it’s time to clean house. Move files to offline storage, uninstall unused apps, and delete old text messages.
#7 - Don’t update anything. A phone that’s running an outdated operating system or apps is operating inefficiently, even dangerously. Updates and patches improve performance (if they’re done right) by eliminating bugs and fine-tuning operating processes. Keep your phone’s software and apps up to date and it will be less likely to crash.
#8 - Install sketchy apps. Almost all mobile malware sneaks in as a result of using third-party app stores. If you jailbreak your iPhone, or change the settings on your Android phone to allow installation of apps from unknown sources, you're open to a world of hurt. Always use the official app store for your phone, and install only trusted apps with lots of good reviews.
#9 - Use the cheapest charger you can find. A two-buck no-name Asian charger is not just as good as a $20-$30 OEM charger. Dirt-cheap chargers often omit feedback circuitry that prevents overcharging of a phone’s battery, and that is how smartphones burn down houses. Cheaper is not better when it comes to connecting phones to other devices, either. I explained some of the flaws and telltale signs of a dangerously cheap USB-C cable in my article, Don't Buy the Wrong USB-C Cable.
#10 - Never clean the phone. Dust, crumbs, and gunk will get between the phone and that silicone case, and into the ports on the phone. If you ignore this ick, it will eventually clog electrical contact points and your phone will stop working. Remove the case and wipe it clean with a soft cloth and water (not alcohol or soap) every now and then, and especially after a camping trip or other time spent in the great, filthy outdoors. Clean ports as gently and carefully as you would clean your ears; a soft-bristle toothbrush swept lightly over the outer rim of a port is often enough.
Have you tried any of these handy tips for ruining your mobile phone? How did they work? Your thoughts on this topic are welcome. Post your comment or question below...
This article was posted by Bob Rankin on 24 Mar 2016
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Article information: AskBobRankin -- [OUCH] 10 Ways to Destroy Your Phone (Posted: 24 Mar 2016)
Copyright © 2005 - Bob Rankin - All Rights Reserved